Tough Shell

I grew up with more negative examples of manhood than positive ones. I appreciate the positive ones. The negative ones, however, heavily shaped the way I viewed manhood. Domestic Violence made me want to avoid being a big strong dude. As I grew older, I began to notice that I have no choice but to embrace manhood and figure out what it looks like for me. And honestly, I’m still figuring it out.

In High School, I took weight training class, where I honed in on my ability to lift weights and get stronger. It made sense back then. I was playing football and trying to impress girls. Simple living. That drive carried into my sophomore year of college, where I found a group of good friends to hit the gym with. The Lab Rats. We were all getting buff and it just felt right. Then, we split up. I was on my own in the world of weights. I kept exercising for a short while, but it eventually died off. I lost my drive to hit the gym alone.

I graduated from college 6 months ago. I’ve only recently started going back to the gym. I realize that my lifestyle has changed so much since the gym sessions with the Lab Rats. I’ve been working and taking trips with my girlfriend. Settling down a little more than before. I’m building out my life as I want it. I’ve been measuring how much of that manly testosterone I’ll need to sustain this lifestyle. Truth be told, I don’t need much. I can be a mild couch potato and sustain well. But that’s where I’m conflicted.

Somewhere deep inside of my being, I’m angered by this. I know that I have more drive and ambition that doesn’t get used. I’ve traced it back to my early impressions of manhood. I rejected those impressions so hard that, when it comes down to it, I ignore any desires to get stronger. My inner child decided that if I remain docile, I won’t be a threat to anyone around me.

It makes sense, but it‘s also shortsighted. If I remain docile, I won’t be able to PROTECT any of those around me. That’s truly what it comes down to. That’s what my manhood is truly for. Protection. Protection of those that I love, but also protection for myself. Manhood is also for:

Enforcement. Execution. Pioneering. Fearlessness.

I wrote this because it’s important for a young man to identify his principles. It’s important for a young man to have examples of the type of man he wants to be, and then grow into his own example. The thought that sparked this blog post is “Tough Shell.”

Imagine a turtle with a soft shell. Imagine a snail, or a crab, with a soft shell. It wouldn’t work out too well for them. Their tough exterior is built for them to be protected despite their natural vulnerability. Working out for me is a matter of strengthening my shell. Protecting not only my physical health, but also my inner child’s impression of manhood. Hopefully, any guys that read this can be empowered to be tough in the name of creating positive images of manhood. The world is lacking in this field, currently.

Peace!!